Monday, October 11, 2010

The Species Called ...

Note 1: This is THE post that I was giving heads up about, in my previous posts
Note 2: There are always exceptions. If you stay abroad, you are exactly the exception I am talking about. But there is a small quiz at the end, if you like to take.
Note 3: Famous or infamous, any controversy adds popularity. What is the best way to gain overseas popularity than taking a dig against them?
Note 4: All the people living abroad are mature enough to laugh at themselves, and still feel good about it
Note 5: No one throws stones at fruitless trees. Only those full of then get hits.

That’s it guys, I ran out of comments that can pacify ‘The species called NRIs’
Long long ago Darwin classified the life on earth - called them reptiles, mammals etc and gave the gold to humans. And even before that, the men self-divided selves in whatever way possible (race, country, religion etc). But somehow everyone left it to the genius of Morus to classify this most superior species called NRIs

The term is first coined by Indian government and called it "Non Resident Indians". (For some reason, they are called NRIs even if they come back). It's only after the release of Swadesh, the real meaning was brought to light by Ashutosh Gowariker - "Non Returning Indians". Well but they do return to India, at-least briefly. But probably, since they can never return to being Indians, this definition holds true. Dodge this – ‘you will never see a day that they don’t speak about abroad, when they are in India.’ (And if there is, it is most likely that they are alone in the house that day.)
I think this is the funniest reply I’ve seen from a 2 months old, 3rd generation NRI. "Typical California Weather." The question is irrelevant, but 2 months to judge a typical California weather, and certifying that California in-fact has California weather qualifies it to top the charts.

“I am not complaining”, is how these conversations start but the rest of the conversations will be nothing but complaints on why India is not like US or doesn’t have tubes like London etc.

The optimist part of me used to think that it is just their concern for their motherland that they complain. But the water cooler discussions are what enlightened me to the fact that it is just an attention war (Ex: Walk on the Manhattan road, you will realize San Francisco is just another laidback city). And hence this post is to certify that they win the war and they are in-fact the most superior species that ever lived on the sub-continent.

Like any other species, NRIs also affect the ecosystem around them. If you are an Andhraite, you would definitely have heard a comment or two on this NRI hype; from their agents (also called family) left behind on this less privileged place. With all the sophistication they have somehow they are the best selling item in the marriage market. People who crib about the Indian corruption/bribes take the highest dowry (for me, both of them are not very different.)

Who knows, may be this time around I will comeback with a "I heart NY" in Bangalore, cursing the luggage delay and boasting about the difference between (read as greatness of) Hong Kong airport and San Jose airport to my comrade NRI (remember the water cooler discussions?).

But here is a small test if you want to measure the NRIness in you. Will put the answers in comments in a while.

All the questions start with “In India:”

1. iPhone or Android , who do you think the people will support?

2. What is the flight fare from Bangalore to Chennai?

3. What is the max speed you can do on Mumbai - Pune freeway?

4. What is the federal law for audio piracy?


PS 1: Nothing... really...